forgiveness...

If you keep up with me you'll know that my weight loss journey has been stagnant for the past month and a half. I am finding my motivation again in the midst of everything I have going on in my life.

As I was searching for some motivational quotes the other day I came across one that really impacted my thoughts. Its written by a motivational speaker named Wayne Dyer. It says "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done. Its always your choice."

It really made me think about my own situation. This quote said so many things to me. I was able to connect it in the manner that so much of my own misery comes from the fact that I can't forgive myself.

Starting from a young age we are taught that ideal beauty comes from being stick skinny. We spend all of our time trying to measure up to this standard. When ideally we should have been taught that ideal beauty comes with a healthy self image.

All my life I was never good enough because I wasn't small like the other girls. I was fat and who could love a fat girl? I find this idea haunts me to the day. Its a constant struggle to fight the idea.

However when I feel like I don't have the strength to battle these thoughts, I am the least forgiving with myself. I don't know how to be ok with not achieving the goal I was to meet for the day whether it be my eating or my working out. This in turn leads to my lack of motivation and hence misery.

So, as I am starting to get my thoughts in order again so that i may have the motivatin to hit the gym hard, I realize I need to forgive myself. Forgive myself for not being good enough, strong enough, skinny enough, beautiful enough, normal enough and so on.

Its ok to forgive myself. In order to unload this weight I need to unload all the emotional weight I've been carrying around. That has by far outweighed any physical weight I've ever carried. So now is a good time as any to begin to tell myself "I forgive you." I hope that you all can find it in yourselves to do the same.

Happy workouts to all...