Trying to Make it through....the layers of fat...

So I made one of these years back but never kept up with it. Luckily its linked to my google account now so I cant forget my sign-in stuff. lol. Anyhow the journey of life continues. So what to talk about??

I guess the one thing that consumes my world...MY WEIGHT and things related to the topic...lol. It sounds comical but its far from it.

So here's the history...weight has been my life-long struggle. I cant say that I ever strived to be a thin girl. I just wanted to be happy with what I see in my reflection. I have always struggled with weight but within around the last four years I went from over-weight to obese. Sadly I never noticed it. Rather I was in denial until one day I looked down at my feet and realized they looked fat and swollen. It was not the end of my denial however. I looked at my hands and kept saying and thinking they were so swollen. Then one day I realized it wasnt swelling. I had managed to put on about, hmmm I'd say, 60 lbs with in the last four years. It was a result of a billion things...low self-esteem, a back injury, and the dreaded love bug. I just dont understand how I allowed it to get this bad.

Last December (2009) I just had enough! I was tired of being tired. I was tired of being fat. I was tired of seeing my clothing sizes continue to expand. I began to get comfortable with the size I was wearing. So I went out and got myself an over-rated, over-priced trainer. I started for like two weeks in December before I left out of town on holiday. Got back on the horse in January when I returned before I stopped for another two weeks while my husband was home on leave from his second tour of Iraq. By March I had been able to maintain a somewhat regular schedule. The results; I dropped 20 lbs, lost a total of 21.75 inches off my body and dropped 5.4% of body fat.

It was a short-lived excitement. My husband returned from Iraq and I stopped going to the gym. By August and I had gained most of it back.


This, however, isnt the end. I'm not just going to lay down and die. The things I learned have given me the strength to continue with this journey...ALONE. I've stocked up on books and am learning how to manage my weight all on my own.