I'm still here...fighting...

So I've been in and out all week. Mainly because I'm struggling with myself...feelings of inadequacy keep creeping up into my head. I can't help but feel negative about things. Its my self sabotaging. Everytime I start to do great I feel like its Not good enough. But here I am. Fighting it the whole way.

I completed my four mile run today in the fog and snow. Its unbelievable that just last week I was barely making the 2.5 miles and today I can say I've completed almost twice that. There is a 5k on January 1st that I plan to join and run. I'm excited and nervous. I figure I need to get my feet wet and start boosting my running confidence.

My food intake has been rather crappy these past few days. I'm not going to sweat it though. I will start over and keep working at it like I always do.

The year is finally coming to an end and I can't believe it. Its gone by so fast! I have never been one to make new years resolutions. I don't understand why people wait until the beginning of the year to make goals that they probably could have begun to accomplish the month before.

The whole idea of always waiting to start something is just pointless. If you want to change your life do it now. Stop waiting until said day to lose weight or to ask that Guy for his number or to go start that exercise plan. Tomorrow waits for no one.

In reflection I can say that 2010 has had its ups and downs...lots of downs. Lol. However, all negativity asside, 2010 was the year I stopped waiting around and took my life back. I couldn't be more grateful for that. Happy workouts to all!!

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A crappy day...

We've all had them. Today was just a crappy day for me. I've let my anxiety of finishing this journey get to me.  I don't know why I'm always in a hurry to finish  but I am.

I finally started Phase 3 of my workout plan. Four more weeks and I will be completely done with this program and onto another. The workout didn't feel as difficult but it did leave me just as sore as when I began my first workouts of Phase 2.

Tomorrow's run is going to be rather long. I am attempting 4 miles! lol. I'm not too worried about it but still a little anxious. I sliced my toe open on my bed frame on Saturday and I've had the most awful time dealing with it. lol. Its amazing how the smallest cuts can hurt so much. I even struggled a bit with today's workout and especially with my run.

I received my Christmas gift early from my husband. He thought it might brighten my crappy day and especially help me out with my run tomorrow. It is a bodybugg! lol I couldn't be more excited to try it out! What it does, in a short explanation, is it calculates calories burnt from  body heat on skin. Hopefully, I will get a more precise number of calories I'm burning throughout the day.

I'm off to bed. Happy Workouts!!

tears of accomplishment...always ok!

Please forgive my one day absence, as I was too extremely tired to blog last night. lol This morning when I woke up to head to the base for my run I came out of my front door to this:

It seems that the snow finally hit our city. It was a lovely scene. Although, it was a bit scary as I live at the top of a hill and the road was covered and frozen.

Since I didn't do my run the day before, because it was supposedly going to snow, I knew there was no going back today. lol. The temperature varied from 21 to 24 degrees that morning and it literally snowed the entire morning. Anyhow, I headed to the track, hoping just a teeny bit that it might be too slippery to run on. lol. When I arrived at the track it was covered in snow and just from looking at it I thought that it wasn't in any way safe to run on. Luckily, after stepping out onto the track I found out it was not at all slippery. Darn. Lol.

Yesterday's run was set for 3 miles. lol. I don't think I've ever run more then like 2.5 miles (if that) less alone three miles! lol. I was worried that I might be too cold, but after I got started running not even the snow flakes in my eyes phased me. I completed that three mile jog! I was so overwhelmed with emotion! I cried, as usual, lol. I just can't help it. Every new run is another life long goal accomplished.

Today's goal was to run 3.5 miles and of course I finished it also. lol. The running feels like it gets easier every time. With every run I complete I feel my confidence rising. It feels great to know that I've had it in me all along. I am discovering that more and more as I overcome the obstacles in my way. Summer triathlon here I come!! Happy Workouts to all!!

Excuse my tardiness...

Sorry about yesterdays missing blog but it was a very late day at the gym for me and usually I blog after workouts. I didn't get there until around 11:30 and got out at around 1:30.

 I finally got some awesome running shoes! I must say that it is super important to find the proper shoe for your feet. For instance I am an over-pronator but I don't have flat feet. For as long as I can remember I've always had shin splints! I loved to wear Nike shocks about a year ago I had to stop wearing them because they gave me severely painful shin splints.

I went on a quest to find a decent pair of shoes and ended up with a couple pairs of the Nike lunar series. When I got to Colorado I broke out my second pair of Lunars and its what I've been wearing ever since. Lately I noticed I was having a hard time with my run and when I went to do lunges my feet danced around. Definitely time for a new shoes.

Yesterday we shopped around and ended up at Dick's sporting good store. I had read that Brooks brand had the best shoes available for running. I tried some on and after adding in a new sole insert, I fell in love with them.

They were even more awesome at the gym. When I got on the treadmill I could feel the stabilization. My feet didn't dance around during my lunges either! Today I was supposed to go take em running at the track but the snow didn't allow for it so tomorrow morning I'll be finding out just how awesome my shoes are on the track. lol.

They were a great asset to my gym workout. Plus I finally bought new goggles! lol. So my pool workout was fabulous too! lol. All in all it was a lovely day at the gym.

Even though I initially didn't feel like working out I'm definitely glad I did! Sometimes you just have to push yourself to do it. Its what I do everyday. It is definitely a little harder on some days lol. Happy Workouts!!

Exhausted....

Today I'm exhausted both mentally and physically. When I started my running plan on Sunday, my run went well and I wasn't sore. Yesterday my workout went on as scheduled at the gym. Because the gym was ridiculously packed yesterday, instead of my usual interval run on the treadmill I opted for a half mile in the lap pool. This morning I hit my jogging goal of the day of 2.5 miles. I'm not to excited as I feel like I should have completed it in a quicker time. However, I have to keep my eyes on the positive. I completed something I had never done! lol. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm new at this and I won't be an expert at it after two jogging sessions.

Today is one of those days that is definitely testing my mental endurance. My body is exhausted and little tiny thoughts start to come in here and there telling me I should quit.  I've been good at that all my life. Anytime something got hard I walked away and hid in my safe spot.  The good news is I don't plan on quitting anytime soon. Which is definitely a change in my usual habits. I just feel like I need to talk about it and get it out there so that I won't allow these thoughts to over come my brain.

Ugh I CAN DO THIS...the pain is only temporary! I will not quit! I know its only a minor bump in my road or more like a steep hill I have to get over. lol. Soon enough I'll be sailing on that smooth, down hill quickly. I just feel like when this starts to finally feel easy it gets difficult again. Its life I know! I will make it through it! lol It's nothing a good nights rest wont solve. Keep on trucking! lol ha ha Happy Workouts to all!!

Melting away...

As you know I had a trainer like a year ago.  Well I kept the sheet where he wrote down my measurements. It has my measurements for when I first got there and my measurements at the end of my time there. Today, I pulled them out, along with my measuring tape. To my surprise and excitement almost all of my measurements had been reduced by 3 inches! YAY! lol To add to my gratifying day, I lost an additional five pounds. This will make it 15 pounds since I started this blog and started working out seriously. I'm now 1 pound away from my 30 pound mark.

I couldn't be happier!! When I started this journey, my self-esteem felt extra low and I didn't really expect to make a transformation. There have been times where I'm so impatient to see results and I don't. Its made me want to quit. Luckily, with the support of all my friends and family I'm well on my way to finally finishing this goal and losing the weight. The hard work pays off. Although many times it seems like we put on 20, 30, 40, or 50 pounds over night. The reality of the situation is that we didn't. Unfortunately, it always seems like it takes forever to see results. In the passed few days I've begun to see the changes and I can't believe it.

Its fueling me to go above and beyond. I am excited to go to the gym and try my hardest. Tomorrows goal on my running program is 2.5 miles. I'm nervous and ecstatic all at once. lol. I have never jogged 2.5 miles so when I complete it, it will definitely be a new mile stone for me. As I take this journey a day at a time I realize that every day is one step closer to my ultimate goal. Happy Workouts to ALL!!

Breakthrough...

Its been a wonderful week! I feel like I'm finally seeing and making progress. I made it through the whole three day cleanse...well we got about 20 minutes left in this whole thing. lol.

Last time I blogged I spoke about my future fitness goals and wanting to start training for a Olympic triathlon. I found a running guide in my book and I've been contemplating starting it. I'll be honest running is something I have always hated. Its been the source of my fat complex all my life. If you can't run or don't run then it must be because you're fat. Not true, I know, but its always how I connected running to my life. 

Anyhow, today I said "I'm going to do it."  Although I do interval running throughout the week as part of my regular workouts, I have not stepped on a track in months. I have definitely not ever ran in the fresh air of Colorado. After dropping some stuff off to my husband at work, I decided that I'd stop at the track and just get this run out of the way. 

I had no expectations of what should happen or if I'd even be able to finish it. I thought eight laps, its not that much.  So I did a mini-stretch, turned on my headphones, and I started jogging.  The first lap seemed to go by quickly. Before I knew it I was saying to my self "ok three more and your done."

As I reached the end of my last lap my eyes started to well up with tears. Not because I was in pain or because I was angry, but because I had finally let that wall down. I completed what I felt like I'd never be doing. At least not this soon in my journey. TWO MILES! To the average runner its not at all a big deal, but to me it meant the world. VICTORY at last!

You know I just can't help but get emotional about it. I feel like I've made a break through emotionally and mentally. Although, I can't help but still be negative at times, I know that I'm going in the right direction with my life. It has been so dark for so long and now I can see tiny glimpses of light coming into the tunnel. I have been capable all along of succeeding but I just never believed in me. I can officially tell you that I BELIEVE IN ME! I hope that you all will also find that inner strength in yourselves to accomplish, or begin to accomplish, all your dreams. Until next time HAPPY WORKOUTS!!

Typical Friday/Saturday...

Ok so the last time I blogged I said I would be doing my mini "cleanse."  I have stuck to it for the most part! lol. Minus the two bites of cereal yesterday and the two bites of taco today (both my husbands) lol.  I thought I'd miss eating meat but actually I miss eating cereal and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. lol

Its been a great week! I've managed to make it to the gym every single day except Tuesday. I'm still thinking about going today...probably won't lol.

I feel like in order to keep myself motivated I have to keep meeting new goals. My ultimate goal is to do a triathlon this summer. More specifically, I want to do an Olympic triathlon. It's shorter then a regular triathlon. It consists of a 1.5K (.9 miles), 40K (24 miles) bike ride and a 10K ( 6.2 miles) run. Swimming is in the bag for me. I can swim .9 miles easily lol. I'm going to begin training on the running this coming week. I found an awesome training schedule in which I can work up to about 5 miles. The first run starts at 2 miles it increases my about half a mile weekly. For beginners like me, its to be done at an easy pace to where I can easily recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Then as time goes on it begins to increase the speed time to help the body adjust to an increased lactic acid threshold. I'm pretty nervous about it, but if I don't get it started now I might chicken out all together. lol. I'm was hoping to start on Monday but because I do my regular scheduled workouts on that day I'm probably going to have to move it to Tuesday. lol. Yet another retraction...lol I guess I'll have to start working out on Tuesdays...

Well we'll see what happens. lol. As always I'll keep you all updated! One more day of veggies, lentils, and fruit...I cant wait until its over! Happy Workouts!!

Yoga Thursday...

Its official. Yoga is here to stay in my workout schedule. I hate to love it every Thursday. lol. Its difficult sometimes coming into a new situation where you don't know anything about whats going on. But I still attempt to do the moves after watching what everyone else is doing first. lol I dragged my husband to class today. Hes the most inflexible man I've ever seen in my life. I figured he could get a little enjoyment out of it and if not at least it'll stretch him out.

I gotta tell you I had pizza today for dinner and I didn't regret it one bit. lol. I'm thinking that everybody needs one day where they can have what they want and be ok. Lol Needless to say if you keep up with my blog you know its the second time this week I've fallen off the the wagon. I don't really consider myself on a diet though. I eat what I want. I just try to eat less of it.

Tomorrow my plan is to do a three day cleanse. I'm not gonna starve or drink syrup and Cayenne pepper lol. However, I plan to cut out all grains and meat products for three days. I'll be eating nothing but fruit, vegetables, and perhaps a lentil or two.  I still don't know yet if I can complete all three days but I'm sure I'll have fun finding out. lol.

Its gonna be a short one today...I don't have much to say. lol. Til tomorrow! Happy Workouts!!

The music moves my feet...

All my life there has been a soundtrack playing in the background. It's gotten me through sad times and I've danced to it through good times. I don't know where I'd be if music didn’t exist tomorrow. I would have to say that music plays a very important role during my workouts.

There is just a meditative serenity I feel when I get on that treadmill and put my headphones on. I refer to it as my zone. I go into a blank trans where I just let the the beats flow through every single nerve, tendon and muscle in my legs as I jog through my interval running. There is nothing greater then that one track that inspires me to just one more lunge or fuels me to pull myself up even though every part of my body is shaking.

The other day my husband joined me at the gym for my workout. Usually he'll just walk next to me and watch TV while I do my thing on the treadmill. All of a sudden I turned and saw that he was running. Not just running but sprinting. Afterward, he told me "I don't know what got into me. This techno song came on and I felt the motivation to run." He's not into music at all so it was a very new experience for him. But me I feel it every time I go to the gym. I don't have just one favorite genre. I listen to anything that moves with the way I'm feeling. Here are my top 10 favorite songs to workout to, in no particular order of course lol:

1. Single Ladies (Put a ring on it)--Beyonce

2. Bad Romance--Lady Gaga

3. Only Girl in the World--Rhianna

4. Toxicity--System of a Down

5. All Jacked Up--Grechen Wilson

6. Freak on a Leash--Korn

7. Mala Gente--Juanes

8. All the Above--Maino

9. Back that Ass Up--Juvenile

10. Billionaire--Travie McCoy

It’s just a tiny tid bit of what I'm listening to while I work out. It’s strange how music can be such an inspirational tool to motivate you to do your best. lol. Happy Workouts!!!!!

Biggest Loser Tuesday...

So as you all know I take Tuesdays off to watch TV. Lol. Today was a plain, boring day. I'm feeling a bit anxious about everything. I feel like my workout is getting monotonous. It’s that two week itch. lol. Around every two weeks I start to feel like I need to change it up again. My phases are four weeks long so I'm halfway there and determined to finish this phase. lol.

This has gotten me thinking a lot about my future fitness goals. I feel like no matter what opportunities we are presented with we cannot make a change until we are ready. I went to a trainer for months and then when I stopped I gained it all back. All that money spent paying for the trainer went down the drain and I watched it go a dollar at a time. But there's no use in living in the past. It is about moving forward. As I watched the Biggest Loser, I thought of how some of the contestants have taken their opportunity for granted. After a little self reflection, I realized that not many people can afford to pay for a trainer and I had that, but I guess I just wasn’t ready.

Today, I feel ready. I feel like there is no stopping me but at the same time I'm afraid of what's to come. I have to say that, although I do miss my family terribly, moving to a city far away from them has helped me find that motivation to lose weight and change my eating habits. I always worry when it comes time to see them or spend time with them, not because they don't support me, but because I want to hide under their wings from the world.
The true issue at hand that has kept me on a weight roller coaster all my life is fear. Fear of failure and fear of ridicule. I can remember being a kid and my aunt offering to put me in girl scouts. I wanted to be a girl scout so badly but the first thought that came to my mind was "I won’t be able to find a girl scout uniform big enough." I couldn't have been more then ten years old. I never did join the girl scouts. I just said no and brushed it off even though I would have loved to do it. This was only the beginning of the many things I wouldn't accomplish because of fear.
Many times overweight people are seen as just lazy. It’s a common to hear "hey what’s the big deal just get off your ass and quit pigging out." Although an over weight person might be unwilling to exercise or constantly feeding on loads of junk food, if you haven't been there you can't understand how much emotion every extra pound carries. I have begun to understand how much I underestimate myself. I can't completely change it overnight but I know that my path is leading me to self acceptance. I believe it’s great to take the time to contemplate your situation. I know that I, as well as others that I have watched, are guilty of acting like we are giving it our all but in reality we are lying to ourselves. Yet we have the audacity to wonder why we failed. This can apply to all parts of life not just weight loss.  Life is about becoming accountable for your actions. I may be afraid but I refuse to become a watcher of life and not a participator.  I read a lovely quote on Bob Harper's tweets that pertains perfectly to this; "It is not enough to be present in your life. You must participate."  For me, it's a slow and steady path to participation...Happy Workouts to all!!

Lessons Learned

For some reason Monday is always such a lazy day for me. I don't work and I don't go to school anymore but the history of Monday's has always been the same for me. I guess the weekend gets comfortable for me and I am ambivalent of the coming changes on Monday. lol. Strange right?? lol

Anyway, today was a reaffirmation of everything I've been working hard for. We left to the store to buy some brown rice because it was on sale for like 50 cents a pound. Total score lol. I made a several huge mistakes before leaving to the store. Not only did I spend most of the day asleep in bed but I also didn't eat before I left the house. Not eating is the worst thing you can do before going to the store. I was starving and since I was starving, I wanted to eat right then and there. I'm always searching for a little bit of home when I'm hungry so naturally we went to this little Mexican food shack that I've been eyeing on my way to the gym for weeks. We went in and it I knew I wasn't going to make a healthy choice. I ordered a big torta (sandwich) and cheese fries. When the food arrived it was a complete disappointment. I pictured an awesome sandwich and some tasty, cheesy fries. It tasted nothing like what I had imagined.

I guess this is why I am a firm believer that people who eat junk food are truly addicted.  I remember having mouth-watering burgers at McDonald's and super succulent, fried french toast sticks at Sonic. However, now its just not the same. When I do eat the junk I'm always disappointed at how crappy it really tastes. I guess now that I avoid it, most of the time, my brain receptors don't crave it and THEY DEFINITELY DON'T NEED IT ANYMORE.

On top of the bad meal when I headed to the gym I felt like a sloth trying to sprint. I struggled through out the entire workout. I was tired and out of energy. I can't remember the last time I felt that way. I was a little angry with myself for allowing myself to make such a bad decision. But I have to learn to deal with the fact that I'm human and I make mistakes. No one is perfect all the time and seeking perfection will unfortunately lead to a lot of failure if you're not willing to accept who you are first.

Tomorrow is another day. The Buddhist saying says that "no matter how hard the past you can begin again."  I'm sure there will be other days where I have to start again but its all part of the journey. Happy Workouts!!

Friday/Saturday...

Friday was a pretty great day. Finally, after over a month of having this beautiful, orange, Nike swimsuit, that my sister got me to encourage my weight loss, IT FITS! lol Yay! I was pretty excited. I wore it to do laps at the pool after I finished my regular work out. To add to the happy day, I went and weighed myself and I lost TEN LBS! Victory! lol. This by far had to be my best workout day of the week. I increased weight on my dumbbell press and lunges by five pounds.

Its exciting to see all the changes happening. I am always amazed by how much of a difference can be made just from making small adjustments. Since I've spent the week trying new things I thought it'd be great to try a new recipe. I made stuffed eggplant and it was actually good! Here is a pic:

The recipe is super easy to follow.  One large eggplant makes four servings. At first, and I'll be honest lol, I planned to eat the whole half but its sooooo filling that I couldn't. lol.So I ended up sticking to the serving size.  The ingredients aren't too unhealthy. The worst thing in it was bread crumbs. Even then it didn't have that much and well you can always find a substitute.

Last night I set my alarm to wake up before 11am so that I could make it in time for the boot camp class at the gym. As usual, I was running a wee bit late. When I showed up I headed for the gymnasium to find a few people playing basketball. Apparently, the class has been changed to 9am on Saturdays and no one bothered to change the time on the online schedule. So annoying. Oh well, I got some Christmas shopping out of the way and bought a Christmas tree instead. Definitely plan to take Saturday off and recover from my busy week. However, tomorrow is another day and I'm gonna try out a Pilate's class at 4.

Finally, I have to retract a statement from my last blog...ugh...After much thinking I've decided that I'm gonna stick to spinning. The benefits outweigh the negatives by far. Especially since I always feel like I need to change it up in order to burn as many calories as possible. Its not a for sure yet but I'll try another class with less stinky people and see if I like it. Happy Workouts to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kicked in the ass...repeatedly

It has been an extremely busy day today. Yesterday I said I was going to try a spinning class and I followed through. In fact I not only did a spinning class, but I also attended a kick boxing class and a yoga class in the evening.

I rarely venture out and try fitness classes because I am always weary of the cheesy factor. So to start this morning I set my alarm and got up for spinning class. As usual, I was fashionably late, but there were plenty of bikes left. Being the introvert that I am, I headed for the back end of the room away from as many people as possible. The closest person had to be about two or three bikes away on both sides of me and it so happened that my bike was stationed closest to the mirror. Anyhow, I was spinning illiterate lol. I tried to hop on the seat but it was super high. lol. I'm always awkward in situations when I feel like people are looking at me. lol. After a few moments of fidgeting with the seat, I finally got myself semi-situated. I never thought to adjust the foot pedals and when I placed my foot in the sling I couldn't get it all the way in. Since I didn't want to waste anymore time I just left it. Boy did I regret it!! lol. I'm all for any exercise that involves sitting on your ass, but as the workout progressed my butt ached and ached and ached even more. If any of you all have ever spinned you'll know when I say my butt ached I don’t mean my butt cheeks. lol.

The experience was made even more awkward by the 40-year old, balding, narcissist to the right of me who kept trying to look past me to stare at himself in the mirror. I just don’t know why he didn’t choose the bike right next to the mirror. He literally looked in it every two minutes. What’s more hilarious is that anytime he had to stand he stuck his butt, in spandex, out all awkward in the air and then would try to check himself out in the mirror while he did it...WOW. lol I couldn’t even get into my zone. When the class finally ended my butt was in pain. As I walked out I thanked my lucky stars that I chose a bike FAR, FAR away from people because apparently someone in there did not believe in wearing deodorant! The stench literally sat in the air. I am gagging as I write these words. It was foul. So needless to say I will not be attending another spin class for as long as I live. The next week will reinforce this as I will remember every time I try to sit down.

As for the evenings classes well they were not a complete fail. I showed up for kickboxing at around 5:30 with my already aching butt. lol. When I arrived the music was already going and people were stretching. The music selection was fantastic and circa 2010 so I figured it was going to be an awesome hyped-up class. Once again I was wrong. The instructor did not care to perform any moves properly. It was just awkward...a lot of quick hitting the pretend punching bag but while you do it shake your ass back and for unrythmically. There were even like border line spirit fingers! Everybody knows there are no spirit fingers in kick boxing. Never again. I felt like a dumb ass. Since no attention was paid to proper kickboxing moves everybody just flailed around like hens running from a fox. I suppose I can't complain because I got a good sweat in but beyond that it was a disaster.

Yoga on the other hand was definitely my favorite class of the day. It began as soon as kick boxing ended so I barely had enough time to recover from my sweaty dance kick boxing session. I don’t know why it never occurred to me to do a quick retouch on my toes before going. LOL! As soon as I took off my shoes and socks I noticed my second toe had a chip. lol Se la vie...ha-ha. Anyhow the class seemed very simple but physically it was extremely challenging. We did everything pretty much in the dark which I loved because I was able to just completely relax and take in the spirit of the class. The end was left off with a meditation just laying there in silence with light airy music playing in the background. It was beautiful. My whole body felt like it was floating gracefully in a clear pond with lotus flowers surrounding me. I will definitely be going back to yoga!

So overall it was a great day. I was excited to see that my body could actually handle three fitness classes in one day. lol Check out my dinner:

I had a six inch, roasted chicken breast sandwich on honey oat from Subway and some grapefruit on the side. So lovely...lol.




My after dinner snack was super scrumptious. Well in my opinion at least. My husband thinks its disgusting lol. Here it is:

Its a cucumber, peeled and sliced swimming in lemon, lime, salt, and chili powder. Yum!!

Only time will tell if I regret today’s workouts tomorrow. Hopefully I can get out of bed in the morning. lol. Either way I'm proud of myself for taking a chance and trying something new. It never hurts to try something new!! Happy Workouts to all!!!

Dinner For One...

With the evolution of the fast food, cooking for one has become a lost art.  Most single people out there would rather stop at the drive through then go home and cook just for themselves.  I spend a lot of time alone and sometimes I think "Why even cook its just me."  I've always done this and it never occurred to me that's where I went totally wrong.

Today I had day all to myself and spent it talking to my friend. She's single and she tells me she tends to not cook for herself either. When she said that I had a mini epiphany. We never notice what we are putting in our mouths because instead of just cooking ourselves a regular meal we go out to eat and have a 1200 calorie meal. If not, when I stay in I just snack and snack. Before I know it I've eaten the whole bag of chips or cookies. lol. So I've been super careful about this habit of mine. I prepare dinner for myself even when I'm eating alone. I make an event of it and don't just prepare some half-assed meal. In fact here its:

I made a chicken leg quarter with green beans on the side and two corn tortillas. I topped it off with some sour cream and a little Pico de Gallo (salsa). I loved it lol. It was nice to take some time out to do something for just me.

Today's work out was awesome as usual. I am always so amazed about how much endurance and strength I gain from one day to the next. The exercise of the day is definitely the Assisted Pull up. I've googled a pic and here it is:

So pretty much you add weight to help lift you. But as your muscles develop you start to take more and more weight off until you can do a pull up with your own body weight. When I saw my workout plan had this exercise on it I panicked. The one that the book calls for is a pull up using a giant rubberband. But being that I'm heavy I could almost see me breaking the band and falling on my ass. lol. So next best was this machine. The first time I did it I super sucked and as always it became my enemy. lol. However, today I can currently lift 80 lbs of my own weight. I'm more and more excited about it every time I use it. lol. I love that machine and how it just taunts me to see how much weight I can take off of it that day.

So I guess not much to say today. It was a pretty boring day. Hopefully tomorrow will be a little more interesting. I plan on taking on a fitness class at the gym. I'm going to attempt spinning for the second time in my life. Hopefully my butt wont be too sore. Lol. Wish me luck!!!
Happy Workouts!!!!!!!

I dont work out on Tuesdays...

I am in love with my workout routine. As I said before my goal is to go everyday if possible but if i make it there every other day I'm happy too.  There is one rule I have though. I don't work out on Tuesdays. Even God took a break. I, however, don't wait until Sunday to take it. Although, it sounds ridiculous to take a day off on the second day of the week, I have a perfectly legitimate reason: TV.

I love TV. I live for TV. Tuesday is an extra special TV day because I watch Biggest Loser. lol. It sounds lame but its a day where I don't have a regularly scheduled workout and I can just sit back and relax. lol. It gives me that extra flow of inspiration. Even if normal people don't lose 100 lbs in 9 weeks.

To add to the enjoyment of the day, me and my hubby went out for sushi to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary. For everybody out there who thinks I might be a hypocrite because I'm writing a blog about exercising and dieting I'm sorry. Life is not about perfection. Life is not about staying cooped up in your house with a celery stick for the rest of your life. The reality of the situation is that in the real world people eat out. On a weight loss journey every day is a learning experience.  I guess what I love most about the path I'm taking is that I'm learning self acceptance.

Some days, and I'm being totally, openly, honest, I will pig out on a burger or some pizza or have a soda. Afterwards, I want to hate myself and for a moment I allow myself to hate me.  But at the end of the day losing weight is about accepting yourself.  Not necessarily saying "OK I'm gonna be fat forever so I'll get used to it" but saying "hey I'm human I'm gonna mess up every now and then." I do mess up and I'm not always dedicated but I will never take the easy way out. I'm going to keep fighting this battle until the day I die and I'm OK with that.

Just gotta keep believing in me...and hopefully you all will do the same. And like I tell my lovely friend Erika...even when no one else believes in you I WILL...Happy Workouts to all!!

Victory at the Gym

Today was quite a victorious gym day.  Not only did I manage to make it in before midnight but I had an awesome workout.  Before I go on to my lovely story I figured I'd grace you all with daily pieces of my my workout and eating. Mainly just to keep myself accountable. lol.

My  favorite meal of the day has to be dinner. There is so much effort put into dinner and best of all I get to have this meal with my lovely husband. Today's dinner consisted of pork loin cube steak, a small baked potato, and steamed green beans:

I'm in no way an expert on foods and measuring everything, but for the most part I was able to measure approximate serving sizes. As far as my methods of cooking the pork I seared it on both sides using about half a tablespoon of canola oil then added water to let it steam itself. After placing all my info into my food journal on the calorie count website I figured out that my dinner was 346 calories not too bad I guess. I sure as hell am not starving after a meal lol.

Today's super exercise of the day is: SITUPS.  I have to admit the first time I ever contemplated doing one, I thought there was ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I could complete the task.  I want to cry just thinking about having to do them, but I go out of my way to add in the situps to my daily workouts. 30 situps to be exact. I was able to break my husband away from his Call of Duty for a whole minute to demonstrate the situp. lol. Here it is:

As you can see he has lovely form. I'm sure I don't look as graceful sitting up but nevertheless I TRY and accomplish it. I don't always give myself enough credit for my mini victories. Today, as my husband was getting ready to hold my feet for situps, I began to complain about how much I hated them. The complaining stopped after he made a quite logical statement that had never occurred to me. He said "remember when you thought you couldn't even do one? Now you do thirty." Its amazing the things we can accomplish when we just look beyond the physical and dig deep into our inner strength.

While doing my dumbbells presses I noticed another couple a few benches away. They were your typical all American beautiful couple. He was tall, tanned and ripped and she had a beautiful, toned body with a perfectly flat stomach.  I always tend to feel a little self-conscious around people like that but today I did my thing; pressing my dumbbells at 32.5 lbs each since someone had taken the 30 pounders.  Anyhow, the beautiful, toned lady happen to notice that I was pressing more then her. Naturally, in true competitive spirit, she went for the 30 pounds the next set. It just didn't happen for her. lol. In no way am I implying that I was excited for her failure. However, I was proud of myself. I'm sure she saw me and thought that there was no way that I could possibly be better at something with my over-60-pounds-overweight-squishy body.

I didn't let it phase me. I kept my game face on but inside a big hairy caveman was beating his chest as he yelled at the top of his lunges in celebration of victory! So I guess the lesson of the day is NEVER underestimate yourself! You're just as good if not BETTER then anybody else out there! Happy Workouts for all!

The New Plan

All my life I've been on some kind of diet. I remember being in the sixth grade and being on a diet. The word DIET...ugh its sickening. I've tried every single diet out there. My favorite up until a few years ago was the ZERO carbohydrate diet. Needless to say I just can't bring myself to do it anymore.
With my new journey I'm moving back to the basics of eating and exercising. You dont have to be a body builder or model to look good. With a little basic education anyone can be fit and healthy. Its my mission to live my life based on this motto.
So to begin with, my diet consists pretty much of TWO basic rules:
1. I eat everything whole grain and or whole wheat.
2. I eat everything according to SERVING SIZE.
My workout plan:

Ultimately my goal is to workout EVERY day but I can deal with myself if I at least workout every other day. The reason for this is I bought a book called The Women's Health Big Book of ExercisesThis book is absolutely my workout bible! It has all sorts of great info for people at all fitness levels. The best part of it is at the end where there are several workouts you can follow on your own at the gym. It was only fitting that I chose the "Get Your Body Back Workout." lol.

This workout consists of three phases in which you slowly build your body into shape. I love that it has every picture of every workout and that it started me off slowly. Currently, I'm in phase 2. As I have progressed into phase 2 I've found that the workouts are pretty intense. At the end of workouts sometimes I find myself feeling emotional. Not because I'm tired but because I can actually complete the workout fully. Tears of joy. Lol. Gaining weight has torn my self-esteem apart. At the end of each hard workout I am reminded that I AM WORTHY regardless of my size.
 The goal for now is to complete this phase of workout. I started it last Monday, November 24th. By December 22 I should have completed the full four weeks of phase 2 and be headed to the final phase. The great part of this blog is that if I can keep up with it daily I can keep up with my workouts and update the world...lol Well at least anyone who happens to come across my little blog...





Trying to Make it through....the layers of fat...

So I made one of these years back but never kept up with it. Luckily its linked to my google account now so I cant forget my sign-in stuff. lol. Anyhow the journey of life continues. So what to talk about??

I guess the one thing that consumes my world...MY WEIGHT and things related to the topic...lol. It sounds comical but its far from it.

So here's the history...weight has been my life-long struggle. I cant say that I ever strived to be a thin girl. I just wanted to be happy with what I see in my reflection. I have always struggled with weight but within around the last four years I went from over-weight to obese. Sadly I never noticed it. Rather I was in denial until one day I looked down at my feet and realized they looked fat and swollen. It was not the end of my denial however. I looked at my hands and kept saying and thinking they were so swollen. Then one day I realized it wasnt swelling. I had managed to put on about, hmmm I'd say, 60 lbs with in the last four years. It was a result of a billion things...low self-esteem, a back injury, and the dreaded love bug. I just dont understand how I allowed it to get this bad.

Last December (2009) I just had enough! I was tired of being tired. I was tired of being fat. I was tired of seeing my clothing sizes continue to expand. I began to get comfortable with the size I was wearing. So I went out and got myself an over-rated, over-priced trainer. I started for like two weeks in December before I left out of town on holiday. Got back on the horse in January when I returned before I stopped for another two weeks while my husband was home on leave from his second tour of Iraq. By March I had been able to maintain a somewhat regular schedule. The results; I dropped 20 lbs, lost a total of 21.75 inches off my body and dropped 5.4% of body fat.

It was a short-lived excitement. My husband returned from Iraq and I stopped going to the gym. By August and I had gained most of it back.


This, however, isnt the end. I'm not just going to lay down and die. The things I learned have given me the strength to continue with this journey...ALONE. I've stocked up on books and am learning how to manage my weight all on my own.